Dark Water
by LadyNightRunner
Summary: If a single thing had been altered, how would Advent Children really have gone? Crackfic in which Yazoo has manners, Cloud is somewhat surprised, Kadaj is unwell, Tseng has a concussion, and Vincent plays the part of transportation.


This will be the 100th story I have posted here on DA. Wow. It doesn't feel like I've written that many. This was done for the following picture: http://ile-o(.)deviantart(.)com/art/FFVII-AC-Dark-Water-27755907 I saw it, thought it was hilarious, and had to write a story around it. You know me. She knows about this piece, and she saw the story before it was posted, so we're all checked out on that front. Enjoy this little piece of crack, folks!

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Kadaj had always had a flair for the dramatic. Yazoo knew it, and so did Loz, so they allowed their little brother his fun. It was never a problem, so there was no harm in it.

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It was an act like any other that night, with all the children standing on one side of the water, grubby little children with flashes of white bandages and Geostigma stains on them. Kadaj was at it again.

"But…the Planet doesn't approve of that at all. It's doing everything it can to _hold us back_." Kadaj gestured grandly, basking in the stares of the children. Yazoo watched, unimpressed. "That's why it's wracking our bodies with pain, and filling our hearts with doubt!"

Loz looked down at the little girl Kadaj had told him to keep close, then over at Yazoo. Yazoo's right eyebrow lifted a bit. _That was new_. Loz half closed his eyes. _So what?_

By now, every single one of the kids was paying total attention to the young man on the opposite bank, speaking of their pain and of how they were siblings. Could they really be related to this imposing figure of leather and silver and shadows?

"Now I shall heal you," Kadaj breathed. Some of the children looked surprised, but he pressed on. "And we will go to Mother _together_. We will join as family and strike back at the Planet!"

Ah, magic words. Together. We. Family. Words that drew the orphans to him like flies to carrion.

"Do as I do."

Yazoo and Loz watched as he walked into the water, then let their eyes fall elsewhere. No point in analyzing more theatrics.

The water darkened around Kadaj's body, as he'd thought it would. It was Holy and he was not, after all, but clearly he was stronger. Something oily swirled around him on the water's surface, which he paid no mind to. Probably off his leathers.

He dipped his hands into the water, cupped them, and lifted them to his lips, tipping his head back as he drank. He noticed, out of the corner of his eye, that the water had started to bubble and move to his left. He swallowed the last of the water and let his hands fall, looking over at the disturbance. It looked like something was rising to the surface.

It was a body. A woman's body, in an advanced state of decay. The oily sheen on the water was coming from it.

Suddenly, Kadaj noticed the nasty taste in his mouth. He froze, hands half-lifted to his mouth, a trickle of water running out of the corner of his mouth towards his chin.

Jenova perked up, thinking the sunken, partially rotted face of the woman, with its stringy, bedraggled hair, was her own head. Kadaj's belly knotted up in an instant.

A small girl in the crowd of children began to cry. The rest of them, horrified now and focused on the thing in the water, began to back away.

"Kadaj, get out of the water," Yazoo said quietly. "There could be others."

That was the final straw. Kadaj threw up without warning, vomit running down his neck and over his chest. That sent the children running. Ignoring them, Kadaj turned and started to stagger back towards the shore. He was doubled over and throwing up again within a few steps, and he found that, when you were leaning close to it, the oily sheen on the water smelled like rancid fat. It didn't help him control his stomach in the least.

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When Cloud screeched to a halt on the far side of the water, he found three things he hadn't expected: The first was Vincent, leaning against a tree with Marlene at his side. The second was Aerith's half rotted body floating in the water. And the third was all three Remnants on the other shore. The two larger ones were huddled around Kadaj, the only one whose name Cloud knew. The little clone was a wreck, sobbing and apparently quite distressed. Confused, Cloud looked to Vincent.

"Kadaj drank the water," he explained, lifting his cloak so Marlene could run to Cloud's side. "It has made him ill."

"Do they know we're here?"

"Yes. But they don't care."

"They _what_?"

"From what I can gather from the conversation, Jenova was rooted in Kadaj's mind. When Aerith's body surfaced, she initially thought it was her own body. The very idea repulsed Kadaj so much that he forcefully removed her from his mind and, by association, from his brothers. This has left them all without a cause, now that they know the thing they call Mother is a rotting corpse, scattered in pieces- or piece, given the circumstances- and not the glorious being they thought she was and there is no longer a guiding voice in Kadaj's mind. All three of them are lost and somewhat frightened. Kadaj is terrified and very ill, and his panic is making his brothers uneasy."

Cloud looked over at the cluster of silver and black by the shell building. Kadaj was on his knees, throwing up. The girly Remnant was keeping his hair back and talking to him. The big one was supporting Kadaj, though he looked ready to join his brother in crying pathetically.

Not at all what he'd been expecting.

"The children?"

"I've found them transport back to Midgar. Denzel is with them."

Cloud sighed.

"Other side, Marlene, I need to get to my phone."

Marlene moved, clinging to Cloud's leg while he punched a number into his phone. He exchanged a few curt words with Reno, hung up, and dropped to the ground beside Vincent.

"Reno's coming out here with a chopper to take them into Midgar, so Rufus can deal with them."

Vincent nodded faintly.

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By the time Reno landed, Tseng and Elena had dragged themselves out of the forest and were waiting with Cloud and Vincent. Elena was wide awake, in a kind of shock and too creeped out by the body in the water to relax. Tseng had politely thanked Vincent for rescuing him and his subordinate, then had lain down and gone to sleep. Marlene was snuggled against him, also asleep.

The Remnants had moved over a little, but were still in plain sight. Yazoo- Vincent had given Cloud their names- was the only one who still appeared calm. Kadaj was succumbing to shock and illness, while Loz was simply hysterical.

"Shiva's tits, yo," Reno breathed, stepping down and staring at the trio. "What happened?"

"Contaminated water and severe shock," Vincent murmured.

"That's all? I was sure that- Tseng! Elena!"

Elena threw herself at Reno and hugged him tightly. Reno looked surprised but gingerly returned the hug, then pulled her off and knelt beside Tseng, who woke at a slight shake and blinked groggily up at Reno.

"Be gentle with him," Vincent warned. "He has a concussion, among other things. The Remnants recognized that he was the senior Turk and that he would have the information they wanted. His injuries are far more severe than Elena's are."

"Didja tell them anything?"

"Only to go to hell," Tseng chuckled.

Reno grinned and turned to address Cloud.

"You seriously want me to load those things in the chopper and take them into the city?"

"They won't be a problem anymore," Cloud promised.

"They're still causing the-"

Cloud bared his arm. Geostigma still marred the pale skin, but it was dry.

"It's stopped spreading. Jenova has no physical host, so she can't influence the world."

A splash and a loud retch made everyone look up and over to the shell house. Apparently, someone had shoved Loz, who had lost his balance and tumbled into the water. The smell this raised -and that he was wearing when he returned to his brothers- had been enough to set Kadaj off again and to trigger the same reaction in Yazoo.

Reno sighed. "Nasty, yo. How'm I supposed to get 'em over here?"

Vincent stood.

"I will collect them. Prepare somewhere to put them." He tensed slightly, then leaped, easily clearing the foul water, and landed just to the right of the clustered Remnants.

"Get away from them," Yazoo choked. He was still trying to retain his composure, and hadn't been reduced to his brothers' level yet.

"I'm simply here to collect you," Vincent murmured. "All of you."

"For what?"

"I couldn't say, as it isn't my business. Come here, I'll take you first."

"Where?"

Vincent pointed to the chopper.

"It's already been made clear to all those involved that you and your brothers have been forced to see something rather…changing. You'll be taken into the city. Away from the body," he added as an afterthought.

Yazoo burped wetly and clapped a hand over his mouth, blushing. Vincent was mildly surprised to see that he at least had some manners.

"Take them first," he said, nodding at his brothers. "I'll….I'll be okay."

"As you like."

He took Kadaj first, holding the skinny body away from his own when he hopped back to the other side. He handed Kadaj over to Reno- who complained bitterly about the near guarantee of vomit on his chopper- and went to collect Loz. He was harder, but only because of his insistence on clinging to Vincent like a large, sobbing monkey. He climbed into the chopper without asking why and huddled in the rear of the cargo area, sniffling.

Yazoo asked to ride on Vincent's back instead of in his arms, and hung on tightly for the quick hop. Instead of joining his brothers in the chopper, he hung around outside it, apparently reluctant to go in and either comfort Loz or keep Kadaj from falling out the door he was leaning out of to throw up.

Reno helped Tseng to the chopper, then looked over at Yazoo.

"Hop in, kid."

Yazoo fidgeted.

"I don't have time for this."

"It might be better if…maybe he lay in the rear, with my brothers."

"What, so they can do something _else_ to him?"

"I handled most of the torture," Yazoo said quietly. "A number of his lower ribs are broken, so sitting up will be painful for him…making him comfortable would be easier in the rear, where the console and seat don't affect his position."

"He's right," Tseng murmured. "I'll trade places with him."

"But-"

"He's the only one of them still dangerous. Why not have him where you can keep an eye on him?"

"Aww…I guess, but…whatever."

Yazoo smiled thinly and climbed into the copilot's seat.

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Cloud arrived at ShinRa's temporary headquarters long after Reno. He found Yazoo sitting in the tiny lobby of the floor they'd moved into, reading a newspaper and trying to find a way to sit with his handcuffs and shackles chained together. He was having trouble with it, but managed to look at least remotely dignified.

On the other side of the room, Loz was similarly restrained, wearing sweats and a t-shirt in place of his wet, reeking leathers. He was curled on the carpet, staring blankly at the door.

"In there," Rude said shortly, nodding at the inner door. Cloud clomped over to it and tried the knob. The door opened easily, and he went in.

"Interesting state you've delivered them to me in," Rufus commented from the corner. "I was hardly expecting them to have been emotionally crippled instead of physically."

Cloud ignored him and joined Reno beside the camp bed against one wall. Kadaj was in it, wearing an expression of utter shock. Someone had put an ice pack on his head and a thermometer in his mouth, but neither seemed to be doing much other than making him into a fairly comical figure.

"Chopper's a mess," Reno muttered. "I've never seen anyone throw up that much. Ever. He should have run out of guts, but…euch. Not him. He just kept on going. Why'd you dump the Cetra chick in the water, anyway?"

"I guess I should have buried her instead."

"No kidding. I've seen rotting bodies, but that one takes the cake."

Kadaj groaned. Reno snorted and took the thermometer out of his mouth.

"Fat lot of good this'll do if he doesn't close his mouth. Anyway, Rufus plans on putting them to work. Yazoo's already agreed to it. Loz will, we think, once he gets over himself- biggest wuss I've ever met. No idea what Kadaj'll say, but Rufus thinks he'll go with his brothers on this."

"As long as Rufus keeps them under control, I don't care."

In the corner, unseen by living eyes, Zack laughed and waved a score card with a big 10 on it.

"That was awesome!" he crowed.

Aerith gave him a dark look.

"I hate you," she muttered.


End file.
